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  • Writer's pictureMatt Albiges

How can I feel more CONNECTED to my partner?

Many couples complain that they don't have much to say to their partner, and even when they make time for each other the conversation is 'flat' and they are just going through the motions.

Sometimes it's the pressure of stress, for example from work, and the conversation always comes back to the practicalities of the household or business.

Maybe time has taken a toll and you feel like you've exhausted all the interesting conversations, and you're just going over old ground, lacking energy or passion.

Or maybe the things that you had in common at the start of the relationship aren't really there any more... like one or maybe both of you have moved on in your lives and the relationship feels like a relic of a past life!

This can lead to a feeling of lonliness as the things that we really love the most aren't of real interest to our partner, and we might even feel resentful that they are somehow preventing us from finding or following our passion.

This is all part of the *vital* concept of ALIGNMENT that we support our clients to work on.

Firstly we need to get crystal-clear on what *our own* values are - these are the things that we feel naturally and spontaneously passionate about, which for many people is more difficult than they expect. The problem we have is that we're sold all kinds of 'social idealisms' of what we think we SHOULD be doing, whether from society or the media, or maybe the education system or from our parents. When we follow those social idealisms, we end up running out of steam and wonder why we're not moving fast enough towards our goals.

Only once we've done that are we able to really engage with our partner to find some common 'projects' that are of real interest to BOTH of us.

Sometimes during this process we identify hidden gems or opportunities to re-connect on a whole new level, and that can breathe new life into the relationship!

Otherwise, maybe we realise that we've grown appart and need to find new ways to take forward our passions and also to support our partner in what they are doing. It's very rare to find TOTAL alignment between two people, even when they get along really well. But on the other hand, where there are no crossovers at all, it can be difficult to really connect on a deep level with our partner.

Remember though that the starting point is CLARITY, then you can see what needs to happen from there.

That's why we always offer a free initial consultation to couples (also myself with MEN, and Rebeca with women), to give some initial pointers and to set a plan for how things need to change going forward.

Get in contact TODAY to set up your call!

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