Ready to build something SOLID, or still building sand castles?
A relationship is like a construction project - we find a great plot of land, there's nothing there yet, but it's got potential with incredible views over a beautiful beach and as we survey it hand-in-hand with our partner, taking it's it's great quality we form a vision of *what is possible* in this place... Looking down on that beach, other couples are playing on the beach having fun with not a care in the world.
So where are you, and importantly, is your partner in the same place?
Having a project that we're excited about taking forward, can really JUICE us, giving us the passion and motivation that lets us sail through the inevitable obstacles along the way. If we've taken the time to really get clear on our vision, we find reserves of energy and resilience that can be STAGGERING, as we turn our vision into reality.
The vision could be - as for many couples - setting up home together, though it can also be a vision based around travel, a financial or business goal, having children or a project to serve other people in some way.
When we find a partner to build with, it can feel like MAGIC. Someone with whom we feel connected and aligned, where we can work together, compromise and maybe even where our strengths and theirs complement each other to take the project forward together!
We feed off each other's enthusiasm, bouncing ideas, being creative and feeling that we can even achieve MORE together than either of us could ever achieve alone.
That feeling of really being on the same page, that someone has got our back and that step by step we are creating something that is meaningful to both us, can give us meaning, purpose and fulfillment.
However, often we don't take the time to make sure we're on the same page as our partner before starting to build!
Maybe we both see the potential in the plot of land but our vision for it is quite different. One of us sees it as a pleasure palace with daily parties and lots of friends over, while the other sees it as a quiet cottage and a haven for raising the children.
Maybe our partner isn't even thinking about building anything, and they'd prefer to put up the tent and spend all the time foraging in the local woods.
Or maybe as you're working on your plans for the building project, your partner isn't even there... maybe you look down to the beach and they're playing in the sand or the surf, having fun without a care in the world?
It could be that a conversation is enough to bridge the gap and re-find your joint purpose?
It could be that you need to commit to Couples Insight Process that we run to help couples get to CLARITY.
Or maybe it's time to accept that you're with the wrong building partner, and that you need to re-evaluate your path to get back to what you really value?